Today was a better day. It was nice to get out what I needed to last night and it actually got me thinking and putting things in better perspective. Friends are the family you choose (some wise person said that to me) and it's so very true. I guess my issue with that is that I have had so many friends screw me over that I always have that thought in the back of my mind that I will either one day be replaced and never spoken to again, or that I will realise I was being taken for a ride and used all along. I put myself out there and try to be the best friend that I can be to people and this makes me an easy target - a doormat. Recently I have been trying to work out why some friendships failed but it's too hard for me to work out. I know that I changed as a person when D and I split, and maybe this is why. I probably won't ever know.
Corey headed off to camp this morning, and I'm missing him terribly. Moo is beside me on the couch, as she fell asleep because she was waiting for Corey to come home. Bit hard to explain to a 3yr old that its another couple of nights. I hope he is having a good time, can't wait until he comes home on friday.
Mowed the front and side lawns today. Sweated like a pig, but I am hoping that sweating this stupid bug out of me will help somewhat. I do feel better today, am going to pop down to the natrapath tomorrow and get some tonic to try and get rid of all the nasty toxins that are still floating around.
Last night when I went to bed I re read what I wrote and then thought about things. Even if my parents were here, would I let them be a part of my kids lives, especially when my childhood was quite crappy. If I had not left NSW would things be different, regardless of where I am in the world, I am still without parents/family. So at least I could put things in perspective a little better once the crying stopped and things became clearer in my mind.
:) glad this is helping.xxx
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